95 Year Old Man in Hooters Shorts…..The question is WHY???

The other day, as I walked into the local CVS Pharmacy, I was floored by a 95-ish year old man dressed in size small, orange satin/spandex, booty shorts emblazoned with a shiny University of Illinois logo across the derriere. I stared; I gawked; I choked on my gum in utter amazement at this cheerleader attire clad relic as he trudged toward the counter, hopefully in search of skin firming cream, if he was going to wear those shorts very often.

“What,” I wondered, “would possess this respectable senior to choose such revealing britches” (as Southerners call them). His accompanying t-shirt and jacket were perfectly acceptable. I say “acceptable” as if I, myself, have written the clothing etiquette guide for the entire population of U.S. senior citizens, sponsored by AARP, of course. Okay, there probably isn’t such a guide, but if there were, I don’t think ultra-low rise, cheeky spandex shorts would be on the list for menswear…

Click here to download my book, Just Kidding (not really) to read the rest of this and 60 other funny essays about life, marriage, kids and being neurotic. 

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2 Responses to 95 Year Old Man in Hooters Shorts…..The question is WHY???

  1. Darlene Daniel says:

    You should have taken a pic, just in case there is ever a “People of CVS website! LOL


  2. Darlene, if ever I could go back in time with a camera, that would be it. It's the kind of moment you just can't duplicate. 😞


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