Ironies and Exercise

Ironic: I live in a house with two 18-step staircases that I avoid at all costs, only to spend thirty minutes on the Stairmaster at the gym four times a week. I wonder if Alanis Morissette would agree. At the Fairview Park Fitness Center, where dozens of workout machines are lined up like minutemen waiting to spring into action, I choose the Stairmaster. Like a veteran cowboy swaggering up to his trusted steed, I mount the machine, give her a greeting, and crank her up to level seven. It’s the highest I can go without my heart punching its way out of my chest cavity and bouncing across the floor. …

Click here to download my book, Just Kidding (not really) to read the rest of this and 60 other funny essays about life, marriage, kids and being neurotic. 

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About angelaweight

Awkward, imperfect, ADD wife to tightly wound financial planner, mom of two boys, and rescuer of lucky stray animals. I should probably see a therapist rather than write a blog. But hopefully I can offer a few laughs along the way.
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2 Responses to Ironies and Exercise

  1. Susan says:

    I had no idea about this phenomenon, but I recently joined a gym, and my preferred cardio exercise is a combo of walking and jogging on the treadmill (some evenings I'm more ambitious than others). I've had a goal of running in a 5k soon…Now, I'm not so sure! Your blog may have (literally) scared the crap out of me.

    Like you with the stairs, when I pull into the gym parking lot, I always jockey for the best parking spot I can find. Sure, I'm about to go sweat it out for 45 minutes, but God forbid I have to walk an extra 50 feet to get in the door! Good blog, Angela. I really enjoy your writing!

    Like

  2. Teri says:

    This is hilarious! I hope that I never experience this as I'm finishing a 5K (the longest race I've tackled)!!!!!

    Like

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