An Earnest Plea for an Excellent Cause…get your Kleenex ready

(You’re expecting me to write about Jack’s birthday party aftermath or our adorable, new dog, Katie. But some things are much more important and can’t be placed on the back burner.)

I know there are many of you who want to do something for the good of humanity, who have a few extra bucks you’d like to donate to a charitable cause. Your heart tugs at you to get involved in something that will lead to the betterment of our world, but you just don’t know what to do or where your money will be most wisely utilized.

While doing a little online research (aka shopping) I ran across something that will definitely drive Dublin tourism up, attract new businesses, create new jobs, thus improving our local economy, which will ripple into the regional economy, eventually driving up the value of the U.S. dollar, which will vastly improve our global economy. So, I can say with a high degree of conviction, that if you live anywhere near Dublin, GA, or the U.S. or anywhere on Planet Earth, you will  benefit.
Right now, I’m sure most of you are thinking “anything that can improve the quality of so many lives, heighten our economy and perhaps even eradicate global unhappiness, I want to be a part of!” And, I’m so glad to say, my friends, “you can be!”
However, others of you are crossing your arms thinking, “Angela, you’ve always been such a grounded, straight shooter with the sensibilities of a military accountant. But this sounds sort of ‘over-the-top. What’s the catch? Are you trying to get us to sell something?” Rest easy, dear ones. This has nothing to do with any network marketing scheme. (We’re still settling lawsuits from the Zoe Life incident of ’09.) It’s about beautifying a neighborhood and displaying rare art, which will eventually lead to global prosperity and world peace.
Take a look at the gorgeous photo on your left. You’ve probably been staring at it thinking. “My gosh! A breath taking work of art such as that belongs in only one place. Angela Weight’s front yard.” And you’d be right. It does belong in my front yard. There’s nothing in the world that would make me (and you) happier than to have this magical creature grace the Pine Ridge subdivision. Like I said earlier, it’ll increase property values, drive tourism and probably lead to a cure for conditions like Pica and Werewolf Syndrome (see appendix A)
Sadly, my husband James, who has never been the art lover, global economist or philanthropic visionary that I am, has forbidden me from purchasing this amazing, and probably antique, five-and-a-half foot metal chicken, calling it tacky and just plain “weird.” (His blindness for things of beauty and potential economic boons is heartbreaking.) James went so far as to say that I was not to spend a dime of his or my money on such an absurd purchase. (I prefer the term investment.A $399 investment, to be exact, but I have strong negotiation skills.)

JAMES: “Angela, forgodsake. We almost got kicked out of the neighborhood because of your feral pit bull sanctuary. Now you wanna drag a ridiculous six foot pile of scrap metal into the yard? Not with MY money. Or yours!!!”
ME: “How can you NOT see the potential here, honey? Can I get it if I use someone else’s money?”
JAMES: “Even your MOM won’t fall for this one. Good luck, babe. If you can get someone else to finance your stupid chicken, then have at it!”
ME: “Can I display it in the front yard?”
JAMES: “You can even invite people over for photo sessions.”
ME: “Yay! I’ll get investors. And they can all own stock in the chicken and have their names listed as donors on my blog. And there’ll be a chicken board of directors and stuff. And we can rent it out for birthday parties, and pay dividends to shareholders from the party profits. And maybe I’ll even put wheels and a motor on it and charge for chicken rides around the neighborhood and that’d be even more money back to investors. Thanks, honey! I’m going to go write up the details.”
JAMES: “I’m going to Shamrock Beverage Mart.”
I’ve always considered my readers to be a pretty smart, compassionate and financially savvy lot. I’m sure I don’t have to write anymore to convince you that your donation of one dollar toward my metal chicken (aka improved Pine Ridge property values, aka job creation in Dublin, aka national debt solution aka beacon for peace between Israel and Palestine) is the most worthy cause you’ve EVER encountered….and probably ever will.
All I’m asking is for your kind donation/investment of one dollar toward the purchase of the chicken you see on the left side of the page. (Of course I’ll take more.) But just one dollar from about 399 of you, plus shipping and handling, is a small price for such tremendous benefits to so many. (What the heck is “handling” anyway?) Okay, I’ll pay for the S&H. Or perhaps, 100 of you could pay $3.99. There are many different options. 
(I wholeheartedly promise, this is the only fundraiser I will ever do on my blog. Don’t miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity.)
Please send your contributions to:
Angela Weight-Huge Metal Chicken Fund
122 Creekview Circle
Dublin, GA 31021
Also, I have a PayPal account, if that’s easier for you. My email is Calpeach27@yahoo.com.
Together, we can make the world a better place….one metal yard chicken at a time.

Note: The above image isn’t the real chicken I want to purchase because that site had their photos copyrighted. Darn them!!! But this is close enough. Special thanks to the Bloggess for making me realize that I even needed a giant metal chicken. 

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About angelaweight

Awkward, imperfect, ADD wife to tightly wound financial planner, mom of two boys, and rescuer of lucky stray animals. I should probably see a therapist rather than write a blog. But hopefully I can offer a few laughs along the way.
This entry was posted in arusticgarden.com, giant metal chickens, the Bloggess, yard art. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to An Earnest Plea for an Excellent Cause…get your Kleenex ready

  1. IMQTPI says:

    So, if you succeed in your fund-raising endeavor, will you stand the chicken on your front doorstep, ring the bell and run (a la The Bloggess' “Knock-knock M-F-er”)?

    Like

  2. Sharon says:

    So Funny, Angela. A wonderful way to start the week. Don't forget to offer tours and opportunities to “feed” the chicken. Quarters work well.

    Like

  3. Thanks, Sharon! I always appreciate your comments. At QTPI, I will definitely have to do the Bloggess “knock-knock” stunt. That was one of the coolest things I've ever read.

    Like

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