Apparently James doesn’t appreciate the merits of having Katie, our 50 pound “puppy” sleeping between us every night. He’s ridiculously selfish with his half of the bed and wants to make sure there’s plenty of room for the grown man-sized stuffed catfish he cuddles with.
So, once again, it was up to me to “save our marriage” by going out and buying a dog bed. Why do we have a king-sized bed if just the two of us are going to use it? I mean this is rural Georgia fergodsake! We should at least have a couple of goats joining us along with Katie and the two cats (who he’s also kicked out). I think James is being terribly unreasonable. I’m glad we don’t live in Tokyo. Imagine the space hog issues he’d have there.
So, I took advantage of Big Lots’ dog bed sale on Saturday. Apparently it was also Honey Boo Boo look-alike day there too. But that’s a whole ‘nother post. $20 got a lovely Pottery Barn-style pooch pillow that goes perfectly with our décor.
“Mom, Katie’s not going to lie on that,” said Andrew who knows EVERYTHING!”
“Yes she will. She’ll love it,” I defended as we watched Katie tooth clamp the corner of her new bed and drag it away from her favorite lying spot on the living room floor.
“Better keep the tag on it, just in case,” Andrew replied, as I tried to ignore the dog plopping down on the wooden floor right next to the pillow she’d just relocated.”
ME: “Quit being such a doubting Thomasena! You’re just like your father! What’s that she’s chewing on?”
ANDREW: “The dog bed tag.”
ME: “That means she loves it. She’s telling us she loves it by chewing up the tag so we won’t take it back!”
ANDREW: “Mom, she also chews on the cats, the coffee table and your underwear”
That was three days ago. Katie still avoids her new bed, opting for the Simmons Beautyrest or the hardwood floors.
Oh, and about my undies! Katie has 1,752 chew toys, but prefers my Victoria’s Secret bikinis. She’s shredded and eaten three pairs now and has taught herself how to open my dresser drawer. I feel obligated to reference the joke: “It’s a dog eat dog world. And I’m wearing milkbone underwear. So, I need new undies, but you can bet your Hanes Her Way, I won’t be asking James to buy them.
That’s all for tonight. Scoot over, James. You and your blasted fish are taking up mine and Katie’s space!!!