Pumpkin Destruction Day at Rock Ranch this Saturday….. and Angela’s Pain Party

Really quickly, before you read my pathetic account of pain and suffering, I want to promote a super fun and potentially violent family activity this Saturday. Take the short drive to Barnesville’s Rock Ranch where they’ll have their annual pumpkin smashing. Drop pumpkins from great heights, shoot them from cannons, drop them from cranes! It’s produce destruction at its best. I’ll be there with my sledge hammer.


Okay, now cue the violins……..

It’s Halloween night and my kids are off having fun at carnivals and cookouts. My husband is on the phone conducting an important business venture (I know this because he’s using his “important business venture” tone-of-voice.) I’m in bed nursing some of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. On a scale of one to natural childbirth, I’d say it’s an 89.7.

Yesterday in my doctor’s office, I learned from grainy cheap porn quality black and white photos of my insides, that I have a leaking ovarian cyst. Dr. Kavuri reassured me that every female (including Adam Lambert and Richard Simmons) get ovarian cysts from time to time. “They’re natural! Nothing to worry about,” he explained, as if he were my dad shining a flashlight under my bed to prove there were no monsters under there.

An ultrasound of ovarian cysts. Why am I suddenly craving Swiss cheese?

Now that I’ve had to leave three different events today to go lie down and nurse my pain, I’m wondering just how “natural” this is. It’s pretty darn embarrassing to be giving a presentation to a group of doctors and nurses, double over in pain squeaking “ouch, my right ovary is KILLING me.” It feels somewhat akin to being stabbed with an 80’s Ginzu knife that’s been used to cut through one too many soda cans.

My friends Mandy and Cissy. They laugh at everything, even my pain. 

I’m sort of a hands-on mom who’s used to being right there in the mix with my boys. Just as my friend Shawn and I were getting our hair spray painted pink and green at the Liberty’s Carnival for Christ tonight, the pain stabbed into me with a vengeance. Shawn, who is one of those awesome friends who has amazing mind reading and empathizing super powers said “go home, Honey, I got the boys.”

Mine and Shawn’s Happy Meal toys. I think it’s very cool how they took care to give us “girl” toys like we’re gonna play with them. Maybe I will.

So, here I am, in bed, having a pain pity party with my two companions, Katie-dog and Anakin the middle-aged angry white male cat. They don’t even have costumes on.

Anakin is my toughest editor. 

Happy Anti-Climactic Halloween.

This entry was posted in Carnival for Christ, Ginzu knives, Happy Meal Toys, Liberty Baptist Church, Ovarian Cysts, Pumpkin Destruction Day, The Rock Ranch. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Pumpkin Destruction Day at Rock Ranch this Saturday….. and Angela’s Pain Party

  1. Let me just say that I HATE when people leave comments on my blog that have nothing to do with my post but that's what I'm doing to you now, LOL. You left me a comment saying you wanted join the Secret Subject Swaps and I can't find an email address for you on your blog. Follow me on twitter and DM me your email address or go to my “about” page, get my email and send me yours. I'll send you an email with the particulars and instructions if you decide you want to do it. December one is filling fast. I'm starting a second link-up challenge called “Fly”. Ask me about that too (by tomorrow on that one) if you're interested.


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