ME: “I have to write something, Andrew! And I don’t know how to start it.”
ANDREW: “try ‘hello.’”
ME: “Thanks, now get out of here. I’m trying to be all writerly and crap.”
To be the blogger I really want to be, I’m supposed to write… like, everyday. Every. Single. DAY? That seems so excessive! Like showering and brushing my teeth. Things you have to do so people don’t avoid you.
I would argue that between working full time and raising two super involved kids, I don’t have time to do that. But other mom blogger friends, who I follow and respect seem to get it done. Every Day! And they all have at least five kids and are pregnant with twins. And their husbands are in Iraq or Antarctica. And they home school. And are in training for Iron Girl competitions. And they grow their own organic produce. And they have their own consulting businesses. And they never miss an episode of Downtown Abbey. And I hate them because they accomplish things and probably never sleep in until 9:30.
So, I’m going to try writing every day. And still squeeze in time to shower.
ANDREW: “Mom, who are you kidding?”
ME: “Every other day.”
ANDREW: “Don’t lie to yourself.”
ME: “Get out of here so I can concentrate.”
Technically I didn’t have time to write yesterday because I slept in until 9:31 thanks to a late night with my friend Sharon, who I’ve started to believe is a very bad influence. Also, we had the Dublin Destruction baseball party and I had to shop for Secret Santa gifts and cut up fruit. My hands still smell like oranges.
I did, however, discover the most exciting, revolutionary product since the Spanx Slim-Cognito body suit. Wandering the aisles of Home Depot, I had an impromptu meeting with a bin of telescoping-handled fan blade brushes! Like to reach up and wipe the four inches of dust off your sadly neglected ceiling fans.
I immediately purchased one and rejoiced on behalf of my home’s eight fans, and their dust ravaged blades which could be mistaken for long, skinny sheep at this point (because I didn’t know there was a such thing as a fan blade dusting brush.)
The government seriously should send out notifications that these things exist. I don’t need my quarterly Social Security statement, but I’d have loved to know that for $13.95, I’d be able to uncover faux cherry finish of my fan blades. If you’d like to experience this same thrill, then head on over to Home Depot for your own duster. (Be sure to pose for photos to commemorate the occasion.)
Or, if that’s too much of a commitment for you, I’m making this one time offer to rent my fan dusting brush for a whole afternoon. Only $5.00. I’ll even throw in a glam photo. Heck, bring the whole family over for a portrait. It’s the kind of thing that’d you’ll want to feature on your Christmas cards.
I have a feeling this will book up fast, so act now!