The Product EVERYONE Needs. (And Can Afford!)

ME: “I have to write something, Andrew! And I don’t know how to start it.”

ANDREW: “try ‘hello.’”

ME: “Thanks, now get out of here. I’m trying to be all writerly and crap.”

Hello!

To be the blogger I really want to be, I’m supposed to write… like, everyday. Every. Single. DAY? That seems so excessive! Like showering and brushing my teeth. Things you have to do so people don’t avoid you.

I would argue that between working full time and raising two super involved kids, I don’t have time to do that. But other mom blogger friends, who I follow and respect seem to get it done. Every Day! And they all have at least five kids and are pregnant with twins. And their husbands are in Iraq or Antarctica. And they home school. And are in training for Iron Girl competitions. And they grow their own organic produce. And they have their own consulting businesses. And they never miss an episode of Downtown Abbey. And I hate them because they accomplish things and probably never sleep in until 9:30. 

So, I’m going to try writing every day. And still squeeze in time to shower.

ANDREW: “Mom, who are you kidding?”

ME: “Every other day.”

ANDREW: “Don’t lie to yourself.”

ME: “Get out of here so I can concentrate.”

Technically I didn’t have time to write yesterday because I slept in until 9:31 thanks to a late night with my friend Sharon, who I’ve started to believe is a very bad influence. Also, we had the Dublin Destruction baseball party and I had to shop for Secret Santa gifts and cut up fruit. My hands still smell like oranges.

Destruction players hugging Miss Helen…the best team mom EVER!

I did, however, discover the most exciting, revolutionary product since the Spanx Slim-Cognito body suit. Wandering the aisles of Home Depot, I had an impromptu meeting with a bin of telescoping-handled fan blade brushes! Like to reach up and wipe the four inches of dust off your sadly neglected ceiling fans.

I immediately purchased one and rejoiced on behalf of my home’s eight fans, and their dust ravaged blades which could be mistaken for long, skinny sheep at this point (because I didn’t know there was a such thing as a fan blade dusting brush.)

You must be feeling terribly jealous at this point. 

The government seriously should send out notifications that these things exist. I don’t need my quarterly Social Security statement, but I’d have loved to know that for $13.95, I’d be able to uncover faux cherry finish of my fan blades. If you’d like to experience this same thrill, then head on over to Home Depot for your own duster. (Be sure to pose for photos to commemorate the occasion.)

Or, if that’s too much of a commitment for you, I’m making this one time offer to rent my fan dusting brush for a whole afternoon. Only $5.00. I’ll even throw in a glam photo. Heck, bring the whole family over for a portrait. It’s the kind of thing that’d you’ll want to feature on your Christmas cards.

I have a feeling this will book up fast, so act now!

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This entry was posted in ceiling fan dusters, Downtown Abbey, Dublin Destruction, Home Depot, Spanx Slim-Cognito body suit. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The Product EVERYONE Needs. (And Can Afford!)

  1. I am really jealous. That fan duster is glorious.
    I think your bad influence friend sounds fantastic!!

    Like

  2. Yeah, I feel sort of bad flaunting my fan duster, but when you live such a rich life, sometimes you have to show it off. Lol

    Like

  3. LOL! I am actually jealous. If I were really feeling ambitious, I might go and buy one for myself!

    Like

  4. Thanks for your comment, Chrissy. I might have to buy these in bulk and give to my blogger friends. Just to ward off the jealousy.

    Like

  5. Debbie says:

    hahaha – very fun post. My ceiling fan blades look like sheep too. I need that brush!

    Like

  6. Denise says:

    Sign me up! Your blog is great – fun and witty. I love it! Can't wait to read the rest 🙂

    Your newest follower,
    Denise @ Learning 2 Walk Again

    Like

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    Like

  8. haha! So funny about all the super-moms out there. They are rather annoying. Great stuff 🙂

    Like

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