May Funny Friday and Two Sad Stories of My Pathetic College Days

Today’s post is May’s Funny Friday, a regular feature published on the last Friday of every month. It’s a collaborative project where one of the participants submits a picture, then we all write five captions or thoughts inspired by that month’s photo. 

Links to the other bloggers’ posts are below. 

Funny Friday Graphic.jpg

Today’s photo was submitted by Karen at Baking in a Tornado.

2 - Baking In A Tornado.jpg

1.“I think I can. I think I can. I think I can kill my brother.”

2. Where the heck is Dudley-Do-Right when you need him?

3. Anything train related reminds me of Thomas the Tank Engine and his little British, pissed-off, effeminate friends on the island of Sodor. They were always being passive-aggressive and rude, or “cheeky” as they called it. 

For some strange reason, my oldest son Andrew insisted on watching them each morning at 10, followed by Calliou, another whiny brat-themed PBS kids’ show.

Having to sit through Thomas and Calliou each morning helped me to understand why so many moms with small children become alcoholics.

4.In trying to come up with captions for this photo, the Grateful Dead song, Casey Jones keeps running through my mind. 

“Drivin’ that train…High on cocaine…Casey Jones, you better watch your speed.”

Back in my college days, I was a pseudo-Dead Head, meaning I had an old concert t-shirt, could tell you the song order on several of their cd’s, but wasn’t anywhere cool enough to actually go to one of their shows.

At age 20, on a particularly miserable family vacation to Cape Cod, I learned that Jerry Garcia had died. My plan to eventually stop showering, dread lock my hair and follow him and his bandmates around the country in an herb-induced bliss ended that day. 

I was mad at myself for being 20 and feeling like I never did anything fun. For dutifully going to class and working two part-time jobs while my roommates and friends took road trips and life less seriously.

Alone in Massachusetts, except for the constant (and I do mean constant) arguing of my parents and sister and brother-in-law, I felt an urgent longing to escape, to be cool and laid back and drown out those angry voices in the next room. So, I put the Grateful Dead in my Discman and drank an entire bottle of Nyquil (in hindsight, a pathetically fifth grade sort of act).

As luck would have it, my mom came down with the flu the next day. The missing Nyquil gave the four of them a fresh new topic to scream at each other about, while I wished for family members with better stocked medicine cabinets.
5. The above photo sort of scares the hell out of me. Not the cute little boys playing locomotive suicide, but the fact that I once came within 20 feet of being flattened by a 10 car freight train at 3 AM, while crossing a trestle in Milledgeville. 

I was 21 and trying to take life less seriously. Ya know, do more fun, spontaneous things that would one day become great stories of what a cool person I was. My friend Chris, who was notorious for showing up late for things, if at all, swore that the final train came at 2 AM. Surprisingly, he was off by an hour.

Somehow, the approaching whistle, roaring engine and shaking tracks caused my friends to become world-class sprinters, while I toddled along, getting my feet caught in each cross-tie, yelling frantically for them to wait up. (Picture, the movie A Christmas Story, Randy, in his snow suit, desperately, frustratedly trying to catch up with Ralphie and his friends.)

If it weren’t for Chris, swooping back and rescuing me at the last second, I’d have made the front page of the Union Recorder and forever been known as “that stupid drunk girl who didn’t make it off the tracks in time.” 

And it was all in the name of trying to take life less seriously. Sort of Ironic. Doncha think, Alanis?

Click on the links below and let some other bloggers make you smile:

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to May Funny Friday and Two Sad Stories of My Pathetic College Days

  1. Phew, I'm kinda glad you got to be 23 and older…


  2. So glad you survived that train ordeal.
    I went to UMass Amherst and the Grateful Dead played a Spring Concert there. I think it was the same year that Maya Angelou spoke at commencement, but my memory might not be all that great because of the whole Grateful Dead thing. . .


  3. Lydia says:

    Train tracks can totally freak me out, too. 😦 But I love that your number 1 is so close to one of my quotes!


  4. Robin Allen says:

    I'm suddenly understanding your blog name, now.

    I'm glad you survived. I hate trains.

    And I'm glad I wasn't the only one to think of those old melodramas!


  5. Diane Tolley says:

    Oh, my goodness! Whatta story! Really glad you survived!


  6. I love number 1! Near death experience really kinda suck, glad you survived to entertain us with your writing 😉


Leave a comment, pretty please...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s