Home Design Blunders That Drive Occupants to Slow, Certain Insanity

I’d like to personally (not) thank whatever genius thought it was a good idea to place a huge, out-of-reach, awkwardly-shaped, east-facing window in our master bedroom.

Ready or not, this is what I wake up to EVERY MORNING at 6:42 a.m….a 700 degree, super high voltage beam of sunlight.

 It’s not a gentle “wake up, sweetheart,” nudge. It’s a “get up now or I’ll set your face on fire,” visual scream. Even on rainy days, (which is the darndest thing to try to explain.)

 I would turn over onto my stomach, but five minutes in that position feels like the back of my head is being assaulted by a blow torch and I start to smell burning hair.

There is no snooze alarm. And no sleeping until 10 on Saturday mornings. Thanks to the worst idea in home design history, I’m now an angry, resentful, frustrated morning person….. And I hate all of you. Enjoying life in your dreary bedrooms. You make me sick!

Many times, I’ve considered covering the offending window with aluminum foil. But that sort of shouts “meth lab.” And at this point, I still care what the neighbors think. Maybe by next month, it won’t matter anymore because. I’ll have committed a class b felony, just so I can go live in a windowless cell. I’m starting to understand why this house, built in 1989, has had 27 different owners. Maybe I’ll meet a few of them in prison.

UPDATE:
I’d like to thank my writer friend, Pamela Kock for pointing out that there are plenty of half circle window shade options….. But then, I’ll have one less thing to whine about.

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About angelaweight

Awkward, imperfect, ADD wife to tightly wound financial planner, mom of two boys, and rescuer of lucky stray animals. I should probably see a therapist rather than write a blog. But hopefully I can offer a few laughs along the way.
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2 Responses to Home Design Blunders That Drive Occupants to Slow, Certain Insanity

  1. Ken, as soon as I'm done complaining about the window. Like in a few weeks. Then I'll buy the shade.

    Like

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