I Go Out Walkin’ After Midnight (Because I Have a Serious Fitbit Addiction)

I haven’t had much time to write lately…what, with the holidays and having company and eating too much and New Year’s resolutions and global warming and Obama still being in office.

I also got a Fitbit for Christmas. People with obsessive-compulsive disorders who happen to be super competitive shouldn’t be allowed access to electronic step counters. Especially not ones that allow you to compare your daily activity online with that of your friends…or those who used to be your friends before you got a Fitbit and made it your life’s goal to take them down. People like us should be in some Internet database that prohibits retailers from selling pedometers to us. Sort of like convicted felons and gun licenses.

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Since December 25th, I’ve become an irritating, hyper-mode Forrest Gump. You’ll probably see me running past your house any time now. It’s not the act of running that I like so much. In fact I hate running. But seeing those numbers flying past on my phone screen is rewarding..and dangerously addictive.

Once I hit the daily goal of 10,000 steps, the device gives my wrist a congratulatory vibration that’s much like a cocaine lever for a lab rat.

“11,000 would be a breeze,” I think to myself.

10 minutes later and inching toward 10,999 steps, the idea of 13,000 seems perfectly reasonable. And then 16,000. And so on to 25,000 steps. Before I know it, I’m in some strange part of town four miles away.

I’m pretty sure the neighbors think I’m a meth-head.

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This photo was taken in the desert of New Mexico. It started out as a walk around my neighborhood in Virginia. Makes me think about that lady who power walks around downtown Dublin all day long. The one who wears shorts with panty hose and white keds. I’ve seen her nearly every day, pounding the sidewalks for nearly 20 years. She seems very nice in a pedestrian sort of way.

Do the rest of you Fitbit wearers find that this little device is getting in the way of your daily activities because you can’t stop yourself from walking around, jogging in place or, at the very least, swinging your left arm around hoping the motion will register as steps?

It’s to the point where I can’t just stand there and have a conversation with someone because that would be lost step productivity time. So I wind up making all these weird unnecessary pacing movements, causing the person to wonder if I have to go to the bathroom really really bad or if I’ve been recently diagnosed with a spasmodic neurological disorder.

The other day while checking out at WalMart, I tried to explain to the cashier why I was jogging in place the entire time.

“Ya see, I have this Fitbit pedometer now and my friend from high school gets 500 more steps a day than I do. And she was always better at everything than I was. And I just want to beat her at this one thing!”

The cashier looked at me thoughtfully and responded, “do you want your milk in plastic bags?”

I’ve created a new people watching game called “Gotta Pee Really Bad, Neurological Disorder or Competitive OCD Fitbit Wearer.” Play it next time you’re out and report the results back to me.

If enough people are like me, addiction rehab centers will have to make room for “walking addicts” or “peddicts” as I call them. They’d have to come up with recovery methods specific to us. However, I think a 12-Step program would just be cruel and unusual punishment.

angela book cover

Like to read more essays like this one? Click here to check out my new ebook for Amazon Kindle. 

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11 Responses to I Go Out Walkin’ After Midnight (Because I Have a Serious Fitbit Addiction)

  1. This is hysterical! I’ve never had one, but my mom uses one and when she’s in that “mode” she goes a little nuts with the counting. Her best friend has one and they both get kind of obsessive about out walking each other. It’s fun for me to watch, at least…

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  2. angelaweight says:

    Thanks for the comment, Kathryn! I can so relate to your mom. It’s easy to go a little nuts with it. OCD and Fitbits don’t mix.

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  3. Kristin says:

    now i see what you mean! i bet you wee walking while writing this 😉

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  4. kimtb says:

    I have been spied walking in place as I do the dishes, just for an extra 25 steps. Have fun!

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  5. nfhill says:

    I have the one I attach on my bra and I am always forgetting to take it off, then can’t find it. Maybe I should try the wrist one. Will I then become addicted?

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  6. angelaweight says:

    Yep. You should become addicted very quickly of you’re like me. I didn’t know they made ones that attach to the bra. 🙂

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  7. angelaweight says:

    I’m so glad you can relate, Kim.

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  8. angelaweight says:

    Thanks for the comment, Kristin! I took walking breaks between each paragraph. lol

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  9. Too funny! I don’t have a Fitbit… but I’m pretty sure I need one now! I, too, would be addicted. And that would be a good thing!

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  10. I was thinking I wanted one because I really need to walk more but I do have OCD issues so I think I will keep guessing on my step total.
    Happy Mew Year!

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  11. Sarah Mac says:

    I’m sure I read somewhere that you can get really fit and toned just by fidgeting – it MIGHT have said Fitbitting but I think I’ll start small and work my way up …

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