Northern People and their Cold Weather Superiority

Have I mentioned lately that Virginia is a lot colder than Georgia? I’ve never lived anywhere this cold. And I’m pretty sure my fingers are going to freeze and break-off before spring rolls around…if it ever comes.

If I lived back in pioneer times, the members of my wagon train would’ve killed and eaten me well before the food supply ran out… just to end my whining.

What makes things worse is that most of our neighbors consider Virginia to be a tropical paradise. Because they moved here, “down here” as they like to say….from ice-capped regions of Maine and Minnesota and Buffalo and the North Pole where every November locals get their blood replaced with antifreeze along with flu shots.

Yesterday, my friend Whitney pointed out “at least the sun shines down here. Back in Pittsburgh, it was dark and cold and gray every single day.”

Our highs here in Richmond are in the 30’s right now. That’s an insultingly cold low where I’m from. And the weather forecasters always do this thing I don’t understand.

FORECASTER: “Tomorrow’s expected high is 38 but it’ll feel like 36. Low tomorrow night dipping down to 17, but it’ll feel more like 15-and-five-eighths.”

IMG_0454

IMG_0455

Who comes up with these arbitrary feel like numbers?

Seems like they should consider the subjectivity of their audience when making such predictions. For example….

FORECASTER: The high tomorrow will reach 38 degrees.

But it’ll feel like -5 if you’re over 90 years old and anemic.

42 degrees with frequent 300 degree intervals if you’re menopausal.

93 degrees and humid if you’re an obese cardiac patient.

Freezing even under the covers if your wife’s pouting with you.

Feelin’ “hot, hot, hot” if you’re Buster Poindexter.

And “cold as ice” if you’re Foreigner.

And 98 degrees if you’re… 98 Degrees.

My good friend Shari is from Maine. She’ll tell you she’s from New Jersey, but she often gets things wrong. As a child, she walked up hill both ways in seven feet of snow to her bedroom and her dad was the abominable snowman and her mom was Elsa from Frozen. And she had a pet yak.

Here’s her take on the paltry three inches of snow we got on Tuesday.

I hate the way my voice sounds in recordings. 

Northerners act like they’re so “Arctic Tough” with their snowplows and road salt and nowhere-to-bury-their-dead-until-Spring. When I’m around this sort of talk I get unnecessarily defensive and start spewing one-ups.

“Oh yeah? Well Georgia’s miserably hot in the summer time. The humidity’s so bad that as soon as you get dried off from taking a shower you’ll need another shower. And we grow cockroaches big enough to be listed as dependents on your income taxes. And we have kudzu and Honey Boo Boo and we still use corporal punishment in public schools. So THERE!”

I have to go walk my dogs now. They don’t seem to care that it’s 30 degrees right now. At least it’s sunny.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Northern People and their Cold Weather Superiority

  1. “There is no such thing as bad weather — just bad clothes.”

    Source: I don’t know. Someone from a cold place.

    I have two layer insulated polar fleece mittens that a 3 month old baby could sleep in.

    Like

  2. I have only two words for you: Northern California. Best climate, ever!

    Like

  3. angelaweight says:

    Carol, you got that right! I lived in Walnut Creek for 10 years and hated so badly to leave, but the cost of living was killing us and my parents were getting older back in GA. So we headed back to the land of heat and sweat. Then hubby got transferred to VA. I’d so hoped it’d be back to Cal. We’re still crazy Giants fans and try to go visit my sister in law and family in Danville every summer.

    Like

  4. Darlene Daniel says:

    I could not exist in a cold weather climate. I HATE coats or layers of clothes. Love the GA comments. You got that right!

    Like

  5. angelaweight says:

    Darlene, the longer I’m up here, the more I miss GA. I think we Georgians have a tremendous amount of pride about our state. I haven’t seen it as much in other states.

    Like

  6. I. Hate. It. Here. It’s too cold! I”m sitting here as the wind is whipping the many inches of snow into fanciful curls around our backyard. I have on two pairs of socks, two sweaters, heavy pants and a heavy blanket on me. I’ve had enough!!! Who is the whiniest now? 🙂

    Like

  7. I have to offer a slight variation on Carol’s comment above. I have only two words for you: SOUTHERN California. Best climate, ever! 🙂

    Like

  8. Carolann says:

    lol loved the vid. You sounded awesome! We all hate the way we sound its just a thing lol. I live in PA for the past 22 years. Originally from NYC so I’m not that far away…weather is just about the same varying a few degrees here and there but who’s counting? lol. I don’t think I could live anywhere where there aren’t any seasons. Yeah it’s cold but as some said in your comments, just wear the right clothes 🙂 Great post!

    Like

  9. angelaweight says:

    Lois, as pretty as Southern Cal is, I could never move there. I’ve been marked a NorCal gal. And I think you have to stick with your designation. Lol. Funny how much of a rivalry there is between the two.

    Like

  10. angelaweight says:

    Oh no, Cathy, I’m so sorry. I bet it does get very old. It’s supposed to get up to 50 here tomorrow and I’m actually excited about that. Sad.

    Like

  11. angelaweight says:

    Wow, those must be some amazing mittens! I need to find some.

    Like

  12. I live in California so 50 degrees is cold! But I have lived in places where it is very cold and I recently went to Detroit where I never felt so cold!

    Like

Leave a comment, pretty please...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s