Okay, it’s not like we sit around talking about big cats or luxury cars all the time. But when someone says the word jaguar, an argument (or at least a spirited debate) always ensues.
*For those of you who are engaged to be married or in a serious relationship, don’t jump into a lifelong commitment without making sure that you agree on the pronunciation on every single word in the English language (and any other languages you speak.) Your marriage will be much stronger if you do.
So, here’s what started our latest jaguar argument.
ME: “So this kid on Andrew’s team hit a fly ball over the fence and it smacks a car in the parking lot.HARD! Then one of the dads on the other side yells ‘Glad it didn’t hit my JAGUAR!’ He like like yelled the word Jaguar way louder to make sure we all heard it.”
“I thought he was joking! But sure enough, I looked in the parking lot and there was the shiny gray Jaguar that Mr. ‘I-want-everyone-to-know-I’ve-got-money’ was pointing at. I mean, what kind of person says something like that without making himself seem like a pompous, arrogant prick? Can you believe some people? Why would anyone think that announcing they own a Jaguar would impress people. It just makes them seem needy and shallow. Not to mention pompous and arrogant, but I think I already said that.”
JAMES: “It’s pronounced “Jagwire” not Jagwaar.”
ME: “Oh geez! Not this again! You completely missed my point. I was talking about why people feel the need to point out how rich they are, like we don’t have eyes or something. And they don’t even realize that it makes them look stupid. And it is SO pronounced Jagwaar…as in Jag+war (rhymes with car).
JAMES: “It’s Jag+wire (rhymes with fire).
ANDREW: “Dad’s right, Mom. No one pronounces it like you do.”
ME: “Get OUT!”
The commercials don’t help either because they have that British voice-over guy who says “Jaguwuh” like he’s all out of breath from lusting over the car.
So, my dear readers, maybe y’all can help settle this once and for all. Tell me how you pronounce Jaguar. And if you happen to own one, please don’t feel the need to brag about it unless you want people to laugh at what an insecure schmuck you are.
*Just to be clear, I have nothing against Jaguar owners or people with money. Just those who announce it to the world.
And, by the way, how do you pronounce realtor, veteran, lawyer and crayon?
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