What’s With the Buttocks Shaped Parking Lots Around Here?

I don’t remember parking lots in Georgia being like this. But every parking lot in the strip malls of Richmond Suburbia seems to unfortunately and inexplicably be shaped like a buttocks, complete with centrally located entry/exit corridor.

To see what I’m talking about, visit Walmart on Hull Street/Warbro, or Kohl’s next to Taget or Old Navy across the street or Martin’s on Hull Street…all shaped like human rear ends.

In any regular parking lot, one would think that if you pull out of your parking space and head toward the street, there’ll be an exit a few yards to the right or left where you can pull into traffic. Here in RVA, that sort of reasoning will just cause you to drive in circles, stuck in the left or right butt cheek, until you realize you have to head back toward the stores to access the parking lot entrance/exit anus which separates the two cheeks.

see homemade exhibit a.

Screenshot 2015-05-28 at 3.51.52 PM

I’ve gotten so used to it that I don’t even think about it anymore. The other day, with another mom in the car, I mumbled to myself “Oh yeah, I’ve gotta head back toward the anus.”

I wonder if the road design engineers got a big chuckle thinking about stupid American consumers driving in and out of a rectal cavity to spend their money. Really, though, when you think about capitalism and our materialistic society, the symbolism is spot on.

To read more disturbing observations like this one, click here to download my ebook. It’s only $2.99 and makes great reading for when you’ve given up finding the parking lot exit and decide to just sit in your car for a while.

angela book cover

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3 Responses to What’s With the Buttocks Shaped Parking Lots Around Here?

  1. Carolann says:

    lol I have to head back to the anus….laughed for like a minute over that one. xo too funny!

    Like

  2. Darlene Daniel says:

    I know that all parking participants in a WalMart parking lot are butt-wads, but never thought about the design of the lot itself. Sorry, butt-wad may be a Daniel term 😦

    Like

  3. Kristin says:

    haha. never noticed this, but will have to pay attention next time I’m up there! in Georgia (Atlanta at least) everything is valet. so you get to pay for the privilege of letting someone else park your car in a lot you could have parked yourself in. then you just feel like a butt.

    Like

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