Author Archives: angelaweight

15 Family Traditions For Decorating Your Christmas Tree

So, I took some liberties with the title just to get non-readers to click the link, but hopefully you’ll learn something anyway… how unsanitary my mop is. Jack’s new elf: Yes, he has a whole face. I stay away from … Continue reading

Posted in butt nursery, Christmas tree decorating, Elf Magic, Jack Nicholson, noble fir, Pine Sol, The Shining. | 5 Comments

How to Effectively Utilize the Silent Treatment to Improve your Marriage….or Don’t Drink the Zit Cream.

(if this blog post has word spacing issues or any formatting problems at all, it’s NOT MY FAULT! It’s stupid, communist, liberal Blogger.) I’m a little concerned about Katie, our six month old lab-border collie-Australian shepherd-piranha mix. None of the … Continue reading

Posted in atheist dogs, diabetic candy, grudge holding, house-breaking dogs, is Clearasil poisonous, the silent treatment | 4 Comments

An Earnest Plea for an Excellent Cause…get your Kleenex ready

(You’re expecting me to write about Jack’s birthday party aftermath or our adorable, new dog, Katie. But some things are much more important and can’t be placed on the back burner.) I know there are many of you who want … Continue reading

Posted in, giant metal chickens, the Bloggess, yard art | 3 Comments

First Day of School…and the Perils of Being a Socially Awkward Mom

“Just grand, Mom. I’m late on my first day of school,” huffed Jack as we sped past an ambulance trying to make it to Northwest Laurens Elementary before the tardy bell rang. “It’s all your brother’s fault for passing fifth … Continue reading

Posted in first day of school, kids' birthday parties, social anxiety, social awkwardness, urine | Leave a comment

Random Question from My Pedicurist

“Have you been to Aruba?” asked the gentle Vietnamese pedicurist who spoke only enough English to communicate nail length and color. “Excuse me?” I asked. “Aruba. Have you been to Aruba?” Mind you, this is the only piece of conversational … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Does Your Dog Have this Problem?

My dog Hope has this not-so-attractive habit of regurgitating her food about an hour after eating. Her ample serving of Kibbles and Bits is in line for the intestine coaster when “whoaaa….back out the hatch.” I’m sure it’s very confusing … Continue reading

Posted in deaf people in airports, dogs, kids, owners, puppies, vomit | 3 Comments

Valentine’s Gift Buying Advice for Men

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we’re bombarded by advertising. Most is directed toward guys…because they rely heavily on ads to tell them what to buy their gals for holidays. That way they don’t have to think. If a … Continue reading

Posted in gift buying advice for men, Pajamagrams, Valentines Day, yak manure | 5 Comments

Toilet Telephoning: is it just me or is that…. wrong?

“Angela, Honey, I’ve GOT to have the recipe for that soup you made us last night. It was DE-VINE…and such a good colon cleanser.” This is the text I received from my friend Amanda this morning. I can’t help but … Continue reading

Posted in talking on the phone while on the toilet, toilet texting | 12 Comments

Doing the Polar Bear Plunge and Other Stupid Things to Try to Feel Young

I did the New Year’s Day Polar Bear Plunge yesterday at Tybee Island with several hundred other thrill seeking morons, including my husband James. People keep asking “so, what was it like, jumping into the freezing Atlantic Ocean?” “Uhm, it … Continue reading

Posted in Aging, Bad Ass, Polar Bear Plunge, Reclaiming youth through stupidity | 7 Comments

How to Accidentally Set Your Kid’s Magic Elf on Fire

I’ve never set a stuffed animal on fire before, but there’s a first for everything. Technically, Alfie isn’t an “animal.” He’s a Christmas elf, actually a knock off of those expensive Elves on the Shelf. He’s an elf, who’d have … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas Humor, Elf Magic, Elf on the Shelf, Elfcapades | 18 Comments